We are loving’ what we’re learning about The Sight Edge. Those simple productive actions repeated consistently over time. Those actions that are easy to do and easy not to do. Those simple actions that are consistently repeated and influenced by time bring about unconquerable results.
So why is it that some of us are sitting thinking “Easy to do?” “Not so much.”
Here’s what I’ve learned…when we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. It’s really important to understand how we respond to expectations. To have the Sight Edge work for you, you must understand more about how you tick and what your tendencies are when it comes to changing your daily habits.
There are really two kinds of expectations:
Outer…work deadlines, home tasks
Inner…keeping a new year’s resolution…stop napping so much
Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Four Tendencies” says that studies show that just about everyone falls into one of these 4 categories when it comes to responding to those inner and outer expecatitions. Here they are:
Upholders respond easliy to both outer expectations and inner expectations.
Questioners questions all expectations, and will meet an expectations only if they believe it’s justified.
Obligers respond easliy to outer expectation but struggle to meet inner expectations.
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.
So we all took a test today to find out which category we ended up in.
Just what is your tendency? It effects the way we see the world so it has enormous consequences for changing our habits permanently.
Upholders easily respond to outer and inner expectations. They want to know what’s expected of them, and then they meet those expectations. They avoiding letting themselves down. Others can rely on upholders and they can rely on themselves too. They are self-directed and have very little trouble meeting resolutions. They don’t like to break the rules…so they’ve got to know the rules! Upholders find it easy to cultivate new habits.
Questioners question ALL expectations, and respond to an expectation only if it makes sense. They are motivated by logic and reason. They resist doing anything that lacks purpose. Questioners resist rules for rules’ sake. They are intellectually engaged and when there’s enough basis for an expectation they’ll follow it, if not, they won’t. Sometimes they suffer form analysis paralysis. Too many questions about the nutritional plan unanswered…so should I follow it, or do my own thing? They can reject experts’ opinions in favor of their own conclusions. Questioners will stick to a habit if they feel it’s useful…if not, they won’t!
Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations. Like…I will stay on program for my team mate, or for the competition, or for Letha…but on my own, I fail. Obligers make GREAT colleagues, family members and friends because they excel at outer expectations. Because they resist inner expectations, it’s hard for them to self-motivate. They depend on external accountability for fear of letting other people down. Promises made to yourself can be broken, but not to another person! They make time for other people’s priorities at the expense of their own. Obligers have trouble setting up new habits for themselves. The key for them… external accountability!
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike. They want to be FREE and don’t want anyone telling them what to do! Rebels work toward their own goals in their own ways. Rebels place high value on being authentic and bring unbridled spirit to what they do. Telling a rebel what to do sometimes gets them to do just the opposite! Rebels need to be given information and time to come up with the conclusions on their own. They say “life controlled by habits is dead.” Truth is, most rebels wouldn’t probably participate in the team challenge. And if they did, they are fighting me in their heads every week! Rebels resist habits but can embrace habit like behaviors by tying them to their own choices!
Studies show that most people by a huge margin are questioners or obligers. I would think that would be true of this group too. Knowing our tendencies will help us make and keep habits in a way that make sense to us.
There is not a tendency that is more successful or brings about more change than another…it’s just knowing thyself. Common theme at The Healthy Weigh isn’t it??? Know thyself!
An upholder exercises regularly because it’s on her to do list.
A questioner studies the benefits of exercise and is highly motivated to keep going.
An obliger sets up exercise with a friend because she always needs someone else to follow through.
A rebel keeps at it because she feels free while she’s doing it and she can set her own schedule!
Everybody is getting the job done, they just go about it differently! What a cool thing.
The slight Edge is a life changing way to live for you and for me. If something is keeping us from living it, believing it, embracing it…we need to ask ourselves questions. I hope that our time spent on the 4 tendencies helped today.
We’ve got to get excited about knowing ourself and loving EXACTLY who we were created to be and use our personality and our tendency to live our best life!
Always encouraging you, (well, because I’m an upholder)